Best of 2007 : New Avengers #34

Instead of trying to come up with some kind of comprehensive list, I thought I'd just take a moment or two here and there to talk about some of my favorite books or moments from 2007.

New Avengers #34

I've enlisted the help of everyone's favorite wall-crawler and current New Avenger, Spider-Man to help me talk about why this issue was one of the best of 2007.

(To help keep things straight Spidey's commentary will be italicized.)

So Spidey, what was so great about this issue?

Nothing?

Really?

Come on, Pete, what about when you confessed to being all Skrully?

Oh yeah. Heh. I guess that was pretty funny.

Why am I walking around with my mask off?

Or when we found out Luke and Jessica named their baby after Iron Fist? Wasn't that heartwarming and sweet? I mean, look at how happy Iron Fist is.

Yeah, I guess that was pretty nice.

Danny was pretty much bursting with pride.

Danny Partridge, I mean.

Of course.

Or what about when he and Dr. Strange were talking about their eventual replacements?

Haha! I'd forgotten about that.. they had a little moment, didn't they?

I've told both of them it could be a lot worse.

They could be replaced by a clone in a sleeveless sweatshirt?

Exactly.

Speaking of clothes, or a lack thereof, how about Hawkeye and Echo's shower scene?

Listen, bud, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a happily married man.
Yeah, about that..

What?

Nevermind.

Moving on, it was pretty nice when you guys finally came together as a team again.

I gotta say I did feel pretty inspired after that.

So, all in all, a pretty great issue, eh?

Hey waitaminit!

What?

You forgot the best part!

I did? Which part was that?

Allow me..

There you have it, folks!

New Avengers #34. One of the best comics of 2007.

Funny, heartwarming, inspiring genital mutilation for the whole family!

I'd like to give a very special thanks to the spectacular, the sensational, the amazing Spider-Man for his help.

Everybody gets one, kid.

I'll see the rest of you next time.

I hate Joe Quesada.

I don't feel like I'm supposed to agree with a Hydra goon.
This was from New Avengers #23 (the Spider-Woman spotlight issue) and when I read it a few months ago, I remember hoping that Iron Man wouldn't survive the crash of the SHIELD helicarrier.
Pardon my language, but dubya-tee-eff?!
I was hatin' on Ol' Shell Head! I used to LOVE Iron Man!

Love him enough that I had two of this awful figure when I was a kid. He was naked underneath the chestpiece for some reason, and had a weird elongated neck and sunken chest. How great is that?
So I had a reservoir of goodwill for Mr. Stark, and yet here I was hoping he'd die.

This is why I hate Marvel Comics and Joe Quesada.
Why can't he ruin Ninjak or Painkiller Jane or some other character no one gives a damn about instead of all of Marvel's big guns?

Wow, now that I think about it, let's do the checklist of who Civil War has screwed over...
Spider-Man? Unmasked and life-ruined. Check.
Captain America? Made out to be a nut job and imprisoned. Check.
Iron Man? Made out to be a borderline evil nut job who has no problem hunting down and/or killing his friends. Check. (BTW : The back half of Frontline #11 where they interview Tony does a great job of really spelling it all out. It's worth reading that part if nothing else.)
Fantastic Four? Broken up like a high school kegger. Check.
I could go on, but what's the point?

I'm extremely curious as to what kind of train of thought leads the current Marvel administration to think ruining all the characters that people know and love and are immediately recognizable to the public at large, while trying to force B-List (as far as the real world is concerned) and supporting characters like Black Panther, Iron Fist and Luke Cage, Dr. Strange, Spider-Woman, Moon Knight etc. into the spotlight (or down our throats) is a good idea.
I don't have a problem with B-Listers. Know this.
I love (Jack Kirby's) Black Panther and Daredevil and Iron Fist and Nova and Moon Knight and Jessica Drew and all of that ilk more than I probably should, okay?
This is ridiculous though!
The Avengers (New or otherwise) should not be Spider-Man, Wolverine, and a bunch of also rans that Bendis has a boner for! Maybe I'm being simple or naive or some such, I mean, "comics are a business" and I'm sure Not Avengers : starring Spider-Guy and Claws Man sells better than the Busiek/Perez issues, but is it really worth it?


Neither did anyone else, Bendis.
Did we just witness some kind of weird, metatextual thing where the characters were speaking to their creators of their own accord?
Is the Marvel U. alive too?
Is Morrison here?


You wanna talk some jive? New Ronin will talk some jive like you never heard.
Any guesses?
Falcon? Night Thrasher?! (Note to Marvel : Stop being all racist.)
Surely that's the worst of it though, right?


Sorry. Nevermind.

Overcome by the need..

Oh, I almost forgot!
The most jaw-droppingly awesome thing I saw in a comic this week.


Luke Cage ain't afraid to kick a chick in the taco.
For real.
Wow.
This actually happened in a Marvel Comic with Avengers on the masthead.
The stones on Bendis, right?

Oh, also, no group of people or super-people even remotely resembling "The Avengers" appear anywhere within the pages of New Avengers #27.

I mean, these guys look like a fun bunch, but they are in no way anything like "The Avengers".
So, you know, just an FYI kind of thing.