Welcome to the island of fear..

Thought I was all out of things to poke fun at in the Secret Invasion : Dark Reign One-Shot?

Not at all.

Not by a long shot.


Again, I have added the googly-eyes to help emphasize the point Bendis & Maleev were trying to make which is that Namor is cuckoo for.. um, boobs.


I DID NOT EDIT OR MANIPULATE THIS AT ALL!
Are you kidding, me?! Maybe that was just a poor choice of words on BMB's part, but SERIOUSLY!
(Also, even though I didn't add the big cartoon eyes, you can tell that Doom is obviously delivering his lines to Emma's cleavage again.)

I'd like to give you a surprise..

For those of you who perhaps did not read the Secret Invasion : Dark Reign One-Shot I reviewed last week and thought I was perhaps exaggerating about how prominently (and ridiculously) featured breasts were throughout the story I decided to go back and add googly-eyes for comedic effect to every panel that seemed to feature a character staring at the chesticological region of Emma Frost.

Let's see what we came up with..


Sigh. Oh, smelly, ugly Namor. You wouldn't catch Aquaman oogling Wonder Woman like that.
But then again, since she can read your mind and already knew what you were thinking, I guess there's no reason not to be obvious.


You know that saying, "Watch where you're pointing that thing"?
At least no one can accuse The Hood of not following that advice.


This one may be my favorite because with the addition of the googly-eyes, it seems as though Dr. Doom is delivering these lines to Emma's chest.


The Hood has to get in one last ogle before he leaves the meeting.


It seems even Emma herself is not immune to her chest's charms.

Now I hear ya..

Comic Reviews in Under a Minute!


Secret Invasion : Dark Reign One-Shot
Writer - Brian Michael Bendis
Artist - Alex Maleev

Wha happa?
Emma Frost has recurring nightmares and wears very little.
Doctor Doom is in a bad mood.
Namor stinks and is suddenly one of the ugliest men in comics. Also, he is apparently forgetful.
The Hood likes to jump around on tables and point his guns at people.
Loki is now a very pretty lady.
Norman Osborne has a plan and it involves them all sitting in a very boring room.
He also has a mystery partner that everyone is scared to mess with. Sooooo scary.
Everyone talks as though they are actors playing these parts who have never heard of the characters or who were given the most basic of information about the characters two minutes before they started shooting the scene.
Boobs are awkwardly showcased at every possible opportunity. (Hey, kids! Comics!)
Namor and Doom have super-secret plans because they are SSEBB (Super-Secret Evil Best Buddies)!
Norman Osborne is still goblin-shit insane.

Show us how you warm your voice up before the big recital, Norman..


And the verdict is?
I could not roll my eyes hard enough at this comic.

Imperius, etc.

Paul Maybury has done an awesome redesign for Namor over at Project Rooftop.
Go look at it.