Thursday, December 11, 2008

Now I hear ya..

Comic Reviews in Under a Minute!


Secret Invasion : Dark Reign One-Shot
Writer - Brian Michael Bendis
Artist - Alex Maleev

Wha happa?
Emma Frost has recurring nightmares and wears very little.
Doctor Doom is in a bad mood.
Namor stinks and is suddenly one of the ugliest men in comics. Also, he is apparently forgetful.
The Hood likes to jump around on tables and point his guns at people.
Loki is now a very pretty lady.
Norman Osborne has a plan and it involves them all sitting in a very boring room.
He also has a mystery partner that everyone is scared to mess with. Sooooo scary.
Everyone talks as though they are actors playing these parts who have never heard of the characters or who were given the most basic of information about the characters two minutes before they started shooting the scene.
Boobs are awkwardly showcased at every possible opportunity. (Hey, kids! Comics!)
Namor and Doom have super-secret plans because they are SSEBB (Super-Secret Evil Best Buddies)!
Norman Osborne is still goblin-shit insane.

Show us how you warm your voice up before the big recital, Norman..


And the verdict is?
I could not roll my eyes hard enough at this comic.

3 comments:

Brian said...

I said at the time, "Namor looks like a dude working at a hot dog stand." And just to make fun of his dialogue as well, my buddy said, "Aye, he doth."

chrishaley said...

Brian - Verily.

Dylan said...

What the heck happened to Brian Michael Bendis? I read secret Invasion this morning and it was So. Frickin. Boring. Just limp as hell.

[sigh]

It's really depressing, this comic book business.