Thursday, March 01, 2007

I hate Joe Quesada.

I don't feel like I'm supposed to agree with a Hydra goon.
This was from New Avengers #23 (the Spider-Woman spotlight issue) and when I read it a few months ago, I remember hoping that Iron Man wouldn't survive the crash of the SHIELD helicarrier.
Pardon my language, but dubya-tee-eff?!
I was hatin' on Ol' Shell Head! I used to LOVE Iron Man!
Love him enough that I had two of this awful figure when I was a kid. He was naked underneath the chestpiece for some reason, and had a weird elongated neck and sunken chest. How great is that?
So I had a reservoir of goodwill for Mr. Stark, and yet here I was hoping he'd die.

This is why I hate Marvel Comics and Joe Quesada.
Why can't he ruin Ninjak or Painkiller Jane or some other character no one gives a damn about instead of all of Marvel's big guns?

Wow, now that I think about it, let's do the checklist of who Civil War has screwed over...
Spider-Man? Unmasked and life-ruined. Check.
Captain America? Made out to be a nut job and imprisoned. Check.
Iron Man? Made out to be a borderline evil nut job who has no problem hunting down and/or killing his friends. Check. (BTW : The back half of Frontline #11 where they interview Tony does a great job of really spelling it all out. It's worth reading that part if nothing else.)
Fantastic Four? Broken up like a high school kegger. Check.
I could go on, but what's the point?

I'm extremely curious as to what kind of train of thought leads the current Marvel administration to think ruining all the characters that people know and love and are immediately recognizable to the public at large, while trying to force B-List (as far as the real world is concerned) and supporting characters like Black Panther, Iron Fist and Luke Cage, Dr. Strange, Spider-Woman, Moon Knight etc. into the spotlight (or down our throats) is a good idea.
I don't have a problem with B-Listers. Know this.
I love (Jack Kirby's) Black Panther and Daredevil and Iron Fist and Nova and Moon Knight and Jessica Drew and all of that ilk more than I probably should, okay?
This is ridiculous though!
The Avengers (New or otherwise) should not be Spider-Man, Wolverine, and a bunch of also rans that Bendis has a boner for! Maybe I'm being simple or naive or some such, I mean, "comics are a business" and I'm sure Not Avengers : starring Spider-Guy and Claws Man sells better than the Busiek/Perez issues, but is it really worth it?

Neither did anyone else, Bendis.

Did we just witness some kind of weird, metatextual thing where the characters were speaking to their creators of their own accord?
Is the Marvel U. alive too?
Is Morrison here?

You wanna talk some jive? New Ronin will talk some jive like you never heard.
Any guesses?
Falcon? Night Thrasher?! (Note to Marvel : Stop being all racist.)
Surely that's the worst of it though, right?

Sorry. Nevermind.


josh said...

i had the iron man toy as well. i think i lost his chestplate, which was unfortunate, because, then, instead of being a superhero, he was just a poor, shirtless drunk.

and if the B-Listers are moving up and taking over the important roles, does that mean an Iron Fist movie is in the near future?

also, caught/liked "The Royal Tenenbaums" reference.

chrishaley said...

God bless ya for..
1) Reading this whole thing
2) Having suffered through those awful old Marvel toys too
3) Wanting to see an Iron Fist movie as much as I do
4) Catching/liking the RT quasi-quote

April said...

i love it...