HIP TODAY : CHRISHALEY CONQUERS THE IMPOSSIBLE!: I do not know what to do..

Monday, March 17, 2008

I do not know what to do..

The most unintentionally funny cover I've seen in some time.
Everything about this cover pretty much cracks me up.

20 comments:

thomas said...: Kory's a fish! Why is she a fish?; 5:18 PM
Curt Franklin said...: Handicapped Cyborg wins for me.; 1:59 AM
M.Sea said...: Handicapped Cyborg is kind of funny, but I was digging the art. I just hope this is cool. I really don't trust Winnick.; 10:12 AM
chrishaley said...: Thomas - Excellent question.; 10:32 AM
chrishaley said...: Curt - Yeah, it's a toss up for me between him and The Flash. I mean, seriously, what the hell is going on with his neck? And face? And pose?; 10:34 AM
chrishaley said...: M - Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
As to your Winnick comment, not only do I not trust him, I don't trust that anyone at DC knows what to do with the grown-up Titans.; 10:44 AM
M.Sea said...: By the way, man, this is Markus Seaberry, from the Vault. I didn't know if you knew that.; 11:10 AM
chrishaley said...: M. - Yeah, man, I checked out your blog and figured it out quick-like. Thanks for dropping by the ol' blargh.; 11:20 AM
Dylan Todd said...: Wow. There is so much to take in. It's like the end of 2001, stuff just flying past your head and... wow.

Congratulations Michael Turner, you have outdone the "Namor Crotch Fist" cover. Well played, Mister Turner.; 11:23 AM
chrishaley said...: Dylan - See, the thing is, I'd have a little more pity for this image if it was Turner... but it's not. It's one of the people who're making a career doing a Turner impression. I don't care to even look up the guy's name, but it starts with a B and it's not Ed Benes. The way you can tell this isn't a Turner cover though is that 1) There's more than one facial expression 2) People aren't just standing with their arms at their sides 3) You can see two characters' and a bear's feet.; 12:13 PM
Jason Quinones said...: nightwing looks likes he's been wearing those neck rings tribal women use to elongate their necks!

he's looks like a rock'em sock'em robot who just got his head punched up!

he looks like fuckin' E.T.!

but the crippled cyborg's funny.; 12:34 PM
Jason Quinones said...: oh yeah....

and that's the cheapest,most unimaginative use of lens flares i've seen in a while.

(do i sound like a comic snob?); 12:36 PM
chrishaley said...: Jason - I don't know if you sound like a comic snob, but you do sound like a person who doesn't like shitty art.. and as you know, those kinds are welcome around these parts.; 1:18 PM
chrishaley said...: Unless they're pointing out how shitty my art is, in that case, those people are not welcome here.; 1:19 PM
Curt Franklin said...: The more I think about it, the more crippled Cyborg is hilarious.

Can't he just build himself some more legs? Does he want sympathy? Does he need those gigantic energy generator things on the bottom of his flying wheelchair?

I think he just wants people to feel sorry for him.

Interior: TITANS TOWER

NIGHTWING is google image searching Starfire with safe search off. CYBORG hovers up behind NIGHTWING.

CYBORG: *sigh*

NIGHTWING looks up, startled. He quickly tries to close the browser window.

NIGHTWIG: Oh, uh, heh heh. Hey, Cyborg. How is your new flying robot wheelchair?

CYBORG: It's okay... i guess... not as good as having robot legs... but, you know... just something to get used to.

NIGHTWING: Yeah, whatever. Well, I'm off to go jogging with Kory.

CYBORG: Oh... have fun... jogging...

Single tear falls from CYBORG's face as NIGHTWING jumps over CYBORG and runs away, laughing.

NIGHTWING: Hey, I hear Barbara Gordon's single! Hahahaha, see ya around Robot Wheelie!; 2:49 PM
chrishaley said...: Later that night..

Interior : TITANS TOWER - Dick's quarters

The moonlight coming through the blinds illuminates the figure of DICK GRAYSON talking on his cell phone.

With his shirt off.

DICK GRAYSON : So, what is this going to show up on Batman's credit card as?; 2:59 PM
chrishaley said...: Curt - Also, just go ahead and post that cover and your thoughts on it on D:B! or your blog or something, because you are hilarious.; 2:59 PM
M.Sea said...: I believe the Turner clone's name is Benitez. The more I look at it, you're right, it does suck. I have had my doubts about this one. First, I was all like, "Winnick sucks, but Ian Churchill's doing the art." Then, I find out that Churchill's bowing out after issue 1. I do love the Wolfman/Perez Titans.; 4:40 PM
Dylan Todd said...: Wait, that's not Turner? Then whoever it is even stole Turner's lame little signature bug (oh how those things infuriate me).

How bad must it suck to be a cheap knock-off of Michael Turner? It's like being a, I dunno, Paul Anka impersonator or something.

And did anybody else notice that the guy pretty much just ripped off the Phantom Menace poster here? Really? That's the Star Wars movie you want to rip -off? Really?

Oh man, I have to go lie down. This opens up a whole dark closet of depressing that I just can't bear to confront.; 6:22 PM
chrishaley said...: Dylan - You just made my head explode.; 7:59 AM